Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Modest is Hottest

Yes, this is a corney phrase and doesn't quite capture the seriousness of this topic.

Ah... modesty....

Any of you who went through the Young Women's program have talked about this countless times,

but I want to give a guy's perspective to modesty!

How modest a girl dresses tells a lot about her level of spirituality and conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ! The second I see a girl dressed immodestly, I know that there's something that she doesn't completely understand:

1. She doesn't understand her divine worth as a daughter of God. She is seeking the praise and attention of man rather than the praise and attention of her Heavenly Father.

2. She doesn't understand (or appreciate) the Atonement of Jesus Christ. If she did, and if she recognized that Christ suffered for her lack of clothing, she'd repent and dress modestly!

3. She doesn't understand the principle that her body is a temple. She forgets that it is a gift with a commandment to dress it and use it appropriately. She fails to remember that she will be held accountable for what she does with/to her body.

4. She doesn't understand the effect this has on other boys. Particularly her brothers!
This is where I want to give some attention:

These are my sisters! I love them and they are an incredible example to me! How grateful I am that they've always dressed so modestly. As a boy, my views of girls are filtered by the things I've perceived about my mom and sisters. Even at home, my sisters dressed modestly! Rather than short shorts, they wore pajama pants. Rather than tank tops, they wore t-shirts. They were ALWAYS modest!

I've imagined what it would've been like if they were immodest. I likely would've viewed this as normal and in turn viewed other, immodest girls, as normal. I would have been desensitized and seen women differently.

Because of their modesty, however, I appreciate it! I find myself sensitive to girls that dress immodestly and am quickly disinterested.

I said earlier that immodest girls don't understand the points above. Its one thing to know something and another thing to understand  it.

President Boyd K Packer taught that "true doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior..." If these points were truly understood you'd dress modestly.

Thank you to all you wonderful women who DO dress modestly! Continue being the wonderful example that you are and always know how pleased your Heavenly Father is with you!

(Note that I often use the word "girl" when referring to immodesty and "woman" when referring to modesty. Your level of modesty is a direct reflection of your maturity.)

Seeking to inspire change,



  1. I just found your blog! Thanks for these posts! they are wonderful! I hope life it treating you well! ~Krista Prusak

  2. Way to go Kirk! You are right on about modesty...:)

  3. I received the following comment in regards to my post entitled "Modest is Hottest." I've chosen to include it below and address my comments to the anonymous individual who I received this from.

    What a condescending, narrow-minded post this is! It's like a pitch-perfect satire of a misogynistic manual written in the 1950s.1 Hoo-whee.

    "The second I see a girl dressed immodestly, I know..."

    ...I'm going to stop you right there—at this point, you know absolutely nothing about this imagined woman, and it's incredibly silly to even begin to presume otherwise. Perhaps she's an actual person, with a well-defined sense of who she is as a unique individual, and the completely meaningless, arbitrarily-defined box in which you're trying to fit her DOESN'T APPLY. Perhaps she's more complex than you're giving her credit for, and it's not fair (and is actually pretty offensive) to assume so much about her deep-seated motivations and spirituality based solely on her short shorts or tank top.

    "She is seeking the praise and attention of [men]..."

    ...Uh, what?? Women don't exist only in relation to men, dude. If a lady's dressed in a way that to you appears provocative, you can't just conclude that she's doing so in a conscious effort to attract men (or even that she's unconsciously motivated by some sort of underlying Freudian DESIRE to attract men), because women don't necessarily make their decisions like that. Because women are PEOPLE, you see.

    And then you having the weird gall to grant your self-satisfied "stamp-of-approval" to all the "good" girls out there? C'mon. Like, some impressionable young woman will be EXTRA-motivated to not show too much clavicle once she reads a testimonial written by a precocious 21-year-old! He obvs understands the complexities of modern femininity, because he cited a quote from an 86-year-old male bigot!

    I first wish to express my appreciation for the language used in this comment. It would've been easy to pollute your post with foul language but I'm extremely grateful that (with one exception which I've omitted) you haven't done so.

    Second, before anything else, I wish you to know that in no way was this intended to offend. No personal attack was being made. I won't excuse or apologize for my comments but hope that you'll see that I'm striving to encourage women (young women in particular) to live up to their potential.

    Understanding the audience that this post was intended for is very important. Although these principles apply universally, my remarks were specifically made for the women of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. They have made covenants (promises) with God to live by certain gospel standards including modesty. Therefore, I don't hesitate to make assumptions based on one's spirituality and commitment to the gospel when its apparent that they are not keeping the promises they've made with God.

    Although only misquoted by one letter, that one letter is an important one. I made the comment that girls who dress immodestly are "seeking the praise and attention of man..." MAN not MEN. There's quite a difference. MAN implies mankind regardless of gender or motive for immodesty. An immodest girl may be dressing inappropriately to fit in with their girl friends and not necessarily because of their desire to please MEN. See the difference?

    I'll close with what I feel is again important to reiterate. This is intended for women of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I can in no way judge the spirituality or maturity of a woman who has not been taught and adopted the teachings of the Church. They are measured by a vastly different standard. For those of us who have, however, been taught of God's standard of modesty and covenanted to live by it, let us continue to strive to live by what we know to be true and right!


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